Mom refuses to attend family events after being told her 4-year-old 6-year-old children can't attend : 'My 6-year-old adores his extended family, and if he finds out he’s being excluded, it would break his heart'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 26, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

There's this interesting thing that happens when you reach that age where children are entering the picture.

You haven't seen a child in years, you're not even sure really what to do with them or how to interact with them, and suddenly, your siblings are bringing your nieces and nephews around to your house. Family gatherings get a whole lot more lively and frantic again like they were when your generation was younger.

Outside of family, friends are bringing kids around to gatherings that used to be debaucherous all-nighters, dipping out as soon as possible after dinner is served, and just generally taming and changing the entire landscape of the interaction.

Are these changes for the worse? No, but it definitely takes some adjusting for the childless who are suddenly finding themselves with children in their lives. And, no matter how you feel about children, when you're hosting, you have every right to ask guests not to bring their children with them. When you're not a parent and don't have children around much your place and your things tend to not be very child friendly.

But, this didn't stop this mother from taking a stand and declaring that she'd no longer be attending family gatherings after being told that her children weren't welcome at her sister's house for an event.

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  • 01

    "She claims her house isn’t “kid-proof” and wants more “relaxed” events."

    Cheezburger Image 10486207744
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to attend my sister’s “no kids” family gatherings because I’m the only one with children?"

    I'm the only one in my family with kids-two young ones, ages 4 and 6. My siblings don't have children, and my parents are retired. Recently, my sister moved into a new house and decided she's hosting family gatherings with a new rule: no kids allowed.
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  • 03
    She claims her house isn't "kid- proof" and wants more "relaxed" events. She framed it like she's doing everyone a favor, but let's be honest—it's just my kids, so this rule is clearly aimed at me. It's hurtful because these are family dinners and holiday get- togethers we've always celebrated together as a family. Now suddenly, my kids aren't welcome?
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  • 04
    What bothers me most is how this will affect my children. My 6-year-old adores his extended family, and if he finds out he's being excluded, it would break his heart. I'm worried he'll never get over it. How do I explain to him that he's not wanted at these family events? It could create a rift between him and the rest of the family. He's sensitive, and I don't want him growing up thinking he's not important.
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  • 05
    When she told me about her "no kids" rule, I said I wouldn't attend if my kids weren't invited. She accused me of overreacting, but if this becomes the norm, what happens for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas? Am I supposed to leave my kids at home every time?
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  • 06
    The rest of my family is siding with her, telling me to just "go along with it" and leave the kids at home for a few hours. My parents, who don't have grandkids from my siblings yet, think it's no big deal. They're even pressuring me to cut my sister some slack since she had a tough time buying her house. But where's the consideration for me and my kids?
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  • 07
    To top it off, my other sibling, who's childfree, said, "Maybe this is good for you-you could probably use a break." Great advice from someone who's never had to juggle parenting while trying to stay connected to family. AITA for refusing to attend her gatherings and calling her out? | feel like I'm being forced to choose between being part of my family or being a parent.
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  • 08
    emadelosa Actually I'm going with NAH here, but listen to my reasoning. When no one of your extended family is even mildly against this, then there is a message here: whatever you're usually doing with your kids at family gatherings isn't working for the others. Yes kids are kids, kids can be a
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  • 09
    little much, they're just happy to see everyone, parenting is hard etc whatever we've heard it all. Nobody likes their parenting criticized but that doesn't mean every criticism is unfounded. If you can be honest on yourself on that, you might be able to have an open conversation with your relatives about it and reach
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  • 10
    a different solution which doesn't exclude the kids in principle. You're NTA for not leaving your kids alone on major holidays, but if it's like I feel it is, the others are NT A either.
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  • 11
    B NTA based on your pov. But...as someone who doesn't have kids, I'll tell you that saying "my house isn't child proof" is code for "I don't feel like you control your children." Maybe talk to mom and see if there's an issue you're not noticing with your kids' behavior away from home.
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  • 12
    sour_lemons Info: is your sister the only person hosting family events? What about the rest of your family including you, do the rest of you host and if so are those events child free?
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  • 13
    I don't see an issue if your sister hosts an occasional child free dinner or event at her house and for your kids. to be watched by another relative or babysitter. They're not going to feel left out because mom and dad occasionally go out by themselves. And it WOULD be good for you to have some adult only time.
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  • 14
    I do think family holidays like thanksgiving and Christmas should include the kids so either your sister is able to make exceptions for those holidays or they can be hosted at someone else's house who doesn't have a child free rule
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  • 15
    ZzyzxDFW • 7h ago • INFO: Alright, we need to dig a little deeper here. The fact that your entire family is backing your sister's no- kids rule has me wondering ―are your kids a handful? Are we talking Bart Simpson-level pranks, Eric Cartman-level sass, or something else entirely?
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  • 16
    Do you have a close friend who can be blunt with you about this? Someone who can give you the real, unfiltered truth? Because if your kids are the rowdy ones or, heaven forbid, the smelly ones, that could explain why your sister felt the need to implement a "no kids" policy, and why everyone else is okay with it.
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  • 17
    Look, it's one thing for kids to be a little hyper or restless at a family gathering, but if your sister went so far as to make a house rule, there might be more to this story. It's possible she didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying it outright, so she went with a blanket ban. Before jumping to conclusions, maybe have an honest chat
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  • 18
    to see if there's something your family hasn't told you. That way, you're not left in the dark, and your kids aren't being excluded for reasons that could be addressed.
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  • 19
    Entire_Prefere... YTA because you're jumping to conclusions. Nowhere did your sister say she would try to exclude your kids from holidays.
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